Monday, January 16, 2012

Woman in Blue

It's late springtime 1700ish in England. The sun is shining brilliantly, the birds are chirping, the smell of new life is in the air and wildflowers are abundant in the meadows. The house is a moderately sized Manor, nothing too fancy yet you can clearly tell this home belongs to someone of importance. It sits up on top of a hill, has a stone gate at the entrance, a garden off to the side of the house and all around it are beautiful wildflowers of every color. The colors that mostly stand out are blue and white for they seam to carry some important detail.

Follow the wildflowers just for a bit, fore there has been a path drug through them. Someone travels this path daily. The path is steep and winds down a hill until it stops at a creek. When I turn to the left I see a tree. I'm not sure what type of tree it is, but it is large and full. Beside the tree while still in full sunlight is a woman. She is very petite. Her long brown hair is blowing in the wind underneath her hat. She appears to have forgotten to pull her hair up and attach her hat pin because she is holding on to her hat for fear it bight blow away. Her dress is blue, solid blue, the color of the Caribbean ocean.

I sit and watch her for a while waiting for her to turn around. I cannot see her face, only her back. However after a while she begins to move under the shade of the tree. Still she never turns so all I see is her back. I notice there is something underneath the tree. It looks like stone. I travel the path down further to get a closer look. I'm now just a few feet behind her and I fear she may notice I am there, but she does not pay attention to me. She is kneeling on the ground. The skirt from her blue dress is now flowing in the wind.

She is crying. Not a heavy sob, steady flow of silent tears. She begins to hum a quiet and soothing tune. She does not want to make too much noise. She is full of great despair. I move closer, close enough to where I am directly in back of her. I am now able to see the stone. It's a grave marker. I immediately conclude that it must be her husband, but as I look closer at the marker I see that I am wrong. The grave marker clearly indicates a young child is buried here beneath the tree by the creek at the end of the worn wildflower path. There is no name, no date, just "my beloved child".

Hours pass...the woman in blue stands, again I can only see her back. She walks to the right of the tree, raises her face into the sun, her hands in front of her. The sun is blinding and I can still only see her back. I can see her arms moving yet her hands stay in front of her. I am hoping that she will turn fore I must see her face. She grants my wish. As she turns to the side I see that her hands are on a protruding belly. She is with child. She stares directly at me, but the sun is blinding my vision. I cannot see her face. She turns and walks deliberately toward me, she stops just to my side and whispers "I had hoped to save my child with the blood of my unborn child". She quickly walks away up the path.

The woman in blue...She has disappeared from sight and I no longer feel her here in this time. I walk back up the path to notice that time has changed. I am no longer in the countryside of England and it is past present day. I am now in a park. There is a lake and many trees. Underneath the largest tree is a woman in a blue sundress. I can feel her sadness yet I can feel that she is carrying great joy. There has been no death yet a birth will save a life.

I am not sure what to make of this dream. Is it just a dream or something more? I almost feel like I have tapped into a past life and that parts of that life will be repeated, but the outcome will be slightly different.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Serial Killer

Lately I have become obsessed with the Showtime television show Dexter. The show is kinda of cheesy with not the best acting, but there is something about the story line that has drawn me in. Normally I watch the show (thank you Netfilx) right before bedtime. I've been watching it almost every night for weeks now with not a second thought after I turn the television off and head to bed.

Last night was just like any other night in my house. The kids were sleeping in their beds, the dog was hiding among the pillows of the sofa, the usual bumps and noises in the house and I was snuggled in on my "pimp ass sofa" watching Dexter. I only watched one episode last night because my all time favorite show Law and Order: SVU was on until 11 p.m. and I had to get up in the morning to go to work.

I moved from the sofa, by the way if you haven't seen this sofa you truly are missing out, to my bedroom and jumped into bed. There were some things going on in the house that I was desperately trying to ignore, but the sickness in the pit of my stomach settled in and I needed to go assert my authority...I got kicked in the back...grrr... Anyway...I jumped back into bed and eventually drifted off to sleep.

During the night I kept having visions of blood splatter. For a while I wasn't sure where the blood came. I just did what any good investigator would do and follow the leads. I was in a building, room after room, long corridor after long corridor, there was blood on every surface that my eyes lay upon.

I reached a large open room that was bare of all furnishings except for a butcher knife in the middle of the room. I blinked my eyes as I moved closer to the knife. I was almost right on top of the knife. I looked around and noticed the room was white and clean. When I looked back at the butcher knife on the floor it had company...a man.

I heard voices that sounded from a distance of a woman speaking to this man. It was a language that I had heard before, but did not understand. It was Yiddish. Weird, but whatever. It sounded like the woman was telling the man what she was going to do to him and in an instant I felt the handle of the knife in my hand. I knelt down beside him, with one fast and angry swipe of my arm I was chopping off his extremities. It was exhilarating and somewhat erotic. When I finished I got up and walked down another corridor.

This same experience happened over and over again down every corridor there was another human life that I was all too happy to take. Out of all the languages in the universe why Yiddish? The blood kept pouring over the walls and the floors and I was covered in it. I loved it! Why haven't I tried this before?

As with all dreams one must wake up. I woke up feeling sore in my shoulders and upper back. Was this dream influenced by a television show or was this a dream that just would have happened without outside influences or perhaps the release of emotional anguish or one of my visitors inside my head showing me something they have done?

No blood was spilled during the blogging of this dream...

Sunday, December 5, 2010

A Walk in the Woods

It has been a while since I had this dream and I am kind of hacked off at myself for not writing it down sooner. I searched my inbox for an email that I sent to someone about it in hopes to recall all of the details. I am going from memory here and I hope I do not screw up too many of these details. Why am I posting it, you ask? Because I do not think this is any old dream, I think this one my be about the future or perhaps something that may have happened in the forgotten past.

I am walking through the woods in the summer time with two people, a girl and a boy. I know who they are and I know them both quite well. The girl is my daughter, she is in her twenties and beautiful of course. The boy is just a few years younger, totally handsome and is the son of a dear friend. Though it was summer and very warm outside, there was snow on the ground. We were on my property, I think in LaGrange, but I am uncertain. I know it is not at the house I live at now. We walked along the dirt path, talking, laughing and having a really good time.

We came to a clearing in the woods and decided to start a a campfire. We sang and danced and talked by the fire for hours. The kids sat together, holding hands. It felt like they were dating or just married or have been best friends for over a hundred years.

The crazy thing about this dream is that (dang it I really wish I had written this down sooner!) is that the boy had a dream about him and my daughter and I walking through the woods AND my daughter had a very similar dream, but the only difference between hers and mine was that she was her current age looking in on the dream of a much older threesome. All three dreams happened very close together in time.

Were we all just having the same "dream"? Are the two children getting married when they grow up? (I do tease my daughter about it from time to time. She gets mad at first, but usually has a twinkle in her eye) or perhaps this dream has a deeper meaning. For now it is uncertain, but I will be staying tuned in to how this story unfolds.

A Walk in the Woods

It has been a while since I had this dream and I was trying to see if I still had an original email that I sent to someone. Some of the details may be a bit off, that's what I get for waiting so long to write them down!

It was summer time and I am walking in

The Gypsy

It's dark and I am running...running as fast as I can. I am winded and I need to catch my breath, but I just keep running. There are trees everywhere I turn. I keep glancing behind, checking to see if someone is chasing me. I don't see anyone, but I hear footsteps...footsteps that seam to be catching up to me. I am frightened so I keep on running. Up ahead I see fire...and I hear music...people laughing...Would I be safe here? Will I be able to outrun whatever is chasing me? I take a quick look behind, but before I can turn my head completely back to the front someone reaches out and grabs my arm.

"Child, what are you running from? Please, calm down. Come sit a while with me." An older woman, probably in her late fifties is standing right in front of me, grasping a hold of my shoulders. She looks worn and well traveled, but there is a mysterious peace within her eyes.

Those eyes are beckoning to sit with her by the fire. I forget my fears and I forget that I am running away from something or someone. I am calm, but yet well guarded I keep myself.
We sit by the fire just listening to the music and the laughter of the people in the camp. They are free spirits...Oh how I wish I could be like let myself go like dance without inhibitions. That is what I long for. To be free, to live my life the way I want to live just as these people are doing.

I start swaying to the music and I feel my soul letting go, but something brings me back to reality. I must keep my walls up, I must not let anyone think poorly of me, I must be proper...

I look at the woman and she looks at me. "You may feel free while you are here my child. Nothing will harm you. I see that you are searching for something, but you have not been able to find it. For when you do you will be fulfilled. Lend me your hand, I can give you insight as to what you are searching for and where to find it."

I am curious, more curious than I have been about anything in my entire life. I want to give her my hand, I want to see what she may see, but I am too scared. I keep my hands grasped firmly in my lap. She is staring at me, so intently that I feel like my insides have been set ablaze. I must leave...I

I quickly stand, though it was painful for me to do so. I want to stay with this woman, I wanted to be a part if her world, but I must as fast as I can. Back through the woods from which I was running away. What I am I running from?

The days go by and the gypsy woman fills my thoughts. I am obsessed with her. I want to be a part of her world. The days turn to nights and soon I am unable to stay away. I leave my home in search of the gypsy camp. I am unable to remember the way, so I wonder the forest for hours. As I am about to give up I hear the music...I hear the laughter...I hear...the gypsies.

I am much calmer as I enter their camp this time. I walk around the fire searching for the woman I encountered the last time I was running in the woods. I turned to glance behind and then to my left and then to my right. When I faced forward again she was there right in front of me. "I expected you nights ago. I do not like to be kept waiting."

"I am sorry. I do not know if I should be here, but I am intoxicated with your camp. Something binds me to you. The last time I was here you offered to give me insight into what I was running from. Will you still be that kind?"

"Sit by the fire with me and give me your hand." I look around at the people have a good time, having second thoughts once again, but I quickly give her my hand before I feel the need to flee again. She stares at my palm, tracing the lines with her fingers. When she is done she folds my hand into a fist and places it in my lap. Without saying a word she reaches into her satchel and pulls out a necklace. It is a simple rope and at the end is a purple pendant. She stands and places the necklace about my neck. When she is finished she turns and walks away.

I rush after her, not understanding what just happened. "What did you see? What insight do you have for me? What I am running from?"

"You are running from yourself. Be who you are and not who you think others want you to be."

Friday, October 15, 2010

Nightmare On My Street

It was late and way past my bedtime. The stresses of the week had my mind overloaded. All I wanted at this moment was for the Sandman to come put me into a restful slumber. I tried all the tricks including just lying in bed counting sheep. Finally my eyes started to close. The Sandman had heard my plea. As a lie drifting off the room was still and dark, a rare happening indeed for there are always noises a plenty in my house, but this night was an exception. My body and mind became as still as the air around me. I felt numb...

After a while the numbness increased to encompass my entire being. The stillness of my room began to lift and I started feeling an uneasiness, but a numbing uneasiness. I tried to get up, I felt like I needed to run, but my mind would not allow that. My eyes popped open. Out of the corner I saw something that instilled a great fear. A train was barreling through my bedroom. It wasn't a typical train that you find on the train tracks, it was a train of letters...words...all in black. The first letter of the alphabet, then the second, third, fourth, it raced toward me. I tried to move, but I felt trapped. I felt like the damsel in distress in an old black and white silent film. As the train was right upon me words circled my head. Big, bold, black words. Things like district, Highway, October, Oldham, no, Kentucky, and the list goes on and on. I wanted to run. I wanted to get away. I wanted to escape the "word train". I tried to wake up. I begged and pleaded to the Sandman to wake me up. I needed to wake up. WAKE UP!

I could not wake up. The words turned into mass pages with words abound circling my room. They whizzed pass my ears, teasing me as they flew by. I fought and fought and fought and finally I bolted up right in my bed. The sheets of printed madness turned into shapes as they choo choo'd through my room. There were many different shapes. I was able to turn my head, slowly and deliberately at first. I watched the crazy shapes dart toward me, missing my face by pure millimeters. As soon as I was able to move my head at a quicker pace my arms and hands became free of the trance like state they were in. I began swatting at these crazy black and white pages.

The words became angry, so angry...It was like they needed my undivided attention, free from all other distractions. I was transfixed upon their sheets as they transformed into paper airplanes. There were no more near misses at my face or body. My arms were free and I tried so hard to swat at these dangerously sharp paper airplanes. One dug into my cheek, another cut into the palms of my hands, then another on my cheek and another. My white sheets were now tinged with red. Ha! I thought to myself, these pages need some color! Each time the paper airplanes dug into my skin I stained them with my blood. They were thirsty, like a newborn vampire, they wanted more and could not be satisfied.

I could feel my legs twitching underneath me. The trance of the black and white words were wearing off. I could move them now. I jumped out of the bed and headed for the door of my bedroom. This angered the pages with the words now tinged with my blood. No more were the paper airplanes. Daggers were next on the menu. The door swung shut and locked itself. I pulled on the door, harder each time. The door would not budge. The words were making their way off the pages, circling around the room. The blank white pages, shaped as daggers, all at once slammed into the door behind me. I stood breathless as the once lively white sheets shriveled up and faded away.

Light was coming into my room now. The words broke apart into single letters. They escaped under my door. I walked slowly back to my bed where this turmoil all began. Lying in the middle of my clean white sheets were some leftover words, not black text like before but green, that simply said "are we having fun yet?"

Friday, June 4, 2010

The wind in my hair...

Whoo Hooo!The wind in my hair and the salty smell of the ocean was enough to make me forget all the troubles in the world. The mountains on my right and the Pacific Coast on my left. I could be no other place but on the PCH (Pacific Coast Highway). It had been a long time since I had ridden on a motorcycle, way too long. The twists and turns of the highway were exhilarating. It was twilight, the fog was rolling in and out, the sound of the waves crashing below me.

Then the scenery changed. No longer was I in the United States, but somewhere else - perhaps Scotland. There was a castle up a head in the distance. I could still hear the ocean and the fog was still rolling and twilight had cast a breath taking blue shadow over the land. The motorcycle had been replaced by a black horse. My hair was whipping in the wind and my long dress was flapping behind the horse.

Now I'm back in the current day. Did I have a dream within my dream? Perhaps. I had always known I was not alone on this journey, but for the first time I realize I have a companion. His back is towards me so I cannot see his face, his hair is longer I can tell but the color cannot be told. His scent evades me for the overpowering smell of the ocean fills my nostrils.

What the hell? UGH! Stupid alarm...This dream was so vivid that I felt I had just come home from this trip. I get the kids off to school and get ready for work. I couldn't get this dream out of my mind, I just couldn't shake it. I wanted an ending and I am stricken with grief because I have not had this dream again. Later on that morning while I am at work I get a phone call from someone I hadn't heard from in a long time. A good friend and nothing more. He called me to tell me he had purchased a new motorcycle and wanted to take me on a ride. His sister owns a cabin in the mountains and he suggested we ride that way. How weird is that? He promised to call in a few days to set things up, this was several weeks ago and to my disappointment he has failed to make good on his offer.

Perhaps the dream was insight to the offer that came later that morning? Perhaps I have not finished the dream because my friend has not mentally prepared himself to make good on the offer. Either way I love the thrill the dream gave me and I hope it visits me again soon.